Jeremy Paul Hulsey

Don't judge me for how I left this world, remember the love I gave.
A lot of grief will follow me for the decision that I have made.
Changes appear in everyone's life, some good and some bad.
The one I chose for myself made everyone very sad.

But in time memories will heal the hurt of hearts,
And my presence will be felt by all with an inner peace.
Remember me when the sun is bright and laughter fills the air,
And a moonlit night and a whisper of wind will tell you I am there.

Don't look down on my family or fill their hearts with blame.
For my leaving them without good-byes, they will never be the same.
If I could go back in time I'd say a last good-bye.
I'd tell them to look to tomorrow and for me, do not cry.
Author Unknown


Ask My Mom How She Is

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies,
She never did before
But from now until she dies,
She'll tell a whole lot more.
Ask my Mom how she is
And because she can't explain,
She will tell a little lie
because she can't describe the pain.
Ask my Mom how she is,
She'll say "I'm alright."
If that's the truth, then tell me,
why does she cry each night?
Ask my Mom how she is
She seems to cope so well,
She didn't have a choice you see,
It was just my time to go,
Ask my Mom how she is,
"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."
For God's sake Mom, just tell the truth,
Just say your heart is broken
She'll love me all her life
I loved her all of mine.
But if you ask her how she is,
She'll lie and say she's fine.
I am here in Heaven
I cannot hug from here.
If she lies to you don't listen
Hug her and hold her near.
On the day we meet again,
We'll smile and I'll be bold.
I'll say,
"You're lucky to get in here, Mom,
With all the lies you told!"


He's Not There

The moment that you died,
Our hearts split in two,
The one side filled with memories,
The other died with you.
We often lay awake at night,
When the world is fast asleep,
And take a walk down memory lane,
With tears upon our cheeks.
Remembering you is easy,
We do it every day,
But missing you is a heartache,
That never goes away.
We hold you tightly within our hearts,
And there you will remain,
Life has gone on without you,
But it never will be the same.
For those who still have their sons,
Treat him with tender care,
You will never know the emptiness,
As when you turn and he is not there.

I MISS YOU MY SON!!!!

No one knows their fate, their destiny or even what tomorrow brings.
As I await the future's unfolding, I find myself looking back. The past is the only thing Im truly
sure of, and in that past I am certain that you were loaned to me on this earth for so many reasons!
You taught me love, strength, and the true test of time. You gave me blessings and memories that
will continue to replay in my mind through the uncertainty of the future.
You taught me hope and also how to appreciate the simplest of things most often taken for granted.
Were it not for you, the beauty of a new sunrise, the birds singing, the sound of children's
laughter, all would fall on blinded eyes and deafened ears.
True appreciation doesnt always come from what has been gained in one's life, but sometimes from
that which has been painfully lost.
I know that even though you are not here with me physically, you live on through me. Through my
eyes, the things i hear, and most of all through the things I am able to feel.
You are forever in my heart Jeremy Paul. Thank you for being so much of my past for with your
memories I have been forever blessed! I love you my first born son! May the angels keep you under
the safety of their wings!

Mom
**FEBRUARY 07, 2008**

" NEVER GOODBYE"

God's finger touched him, and he slept

3:00 A.M. TWO YEARS AGO TODAY, THE VERY HOUR, THE VERY DAY MY WHOLE LIFE CHANGED, AND THE DAY MY
HEART BECAME FOREVER BROKEN!
MY GRIEF CONTINUES IN SUCH A WAY THAT NO ONE WILL COMPLETELY COMPREHEND BUT ITS VERY REAL FOR ME! MY
LOVE FOR YOU MY SON, WILL LIVE ON AS LONG AS THERE IS LIFE IN THIS BODY AND SO WILL THE PAIN OF
LOSING YOU!
I HOLD ONTO YOUR MEMORY TO SUSTAIN ME BUT ITS NOT ENOUGH. I CARRY THE SCARS EMBEDDED WITHIN FROM THE
BATTLE YOU LOST, A BATTLE I CONTINUE TO FIGHT IN YOUR ABSENCE AND ALSO A BATTLE WITH NO WAY TO
PREVAIL!
THE DARKNESS YOU LEFT BEHIND CASTS A DREARY SHADOW ON THE LIVES OF MYSELF AND THE REST OF THE FAMILY
AND THOSE LEFT BEHIND WHO LOVE YOU! THROUGH THAT DARKNESS WE STRUGGLE TO SEE THE LIGHT AND WE SEARCH
FOR THE UNOBTAINABLE ANSWERS.
THIS IS A LONG JOURNEY SON, YET ONE THAT WE HAVE TO TRAVEL AND SO OFTEN I FEEL AS THOUGH I TRAVEL
ALONE, FOR EVERYONE SUFFERS, EVERYONE HURTS, EVERYONE GRIEVES, ALL OF US IN OUR OWN WAYS BUT NONE OF
US HAS THE ABILITY TO TAKE THE OTHERS SUFFERING AWAY; HOWEVER, IF ASK TODAY TWO YEARS LATER, "WOULD
YOU DO IT ALL AGAIN?" THE ANSWER WITHOUT HESITATION WOULD BE, "YES", BETTER TO HAVE LOVED AND LOST
THAN NEVER TO HAVE LOVED AT ALL. BETTER TO HAVE ALMOST 25 YEARS OF MEMORIES THAN NEVER TO HAVE HAD
YOU TOUCH MY HEART AND MY LIFE! THOUGH I HURT, THOUGH I SUFFER, THOUGH I CONTINUE TO GRIEVE, YOU
WERE A BLESSING TO ME AN ANGEL ON EARTH AND I LOVE YOU AS MUCH AS THE DAY I BROUGHT YOU INTO THIS
WORLD ALMOST 28 YEARS AGO!
I WONT SAY GOODBYE, GOODBYES ARE FOREVER, WHAT I WILL SAY IS "SEE YOU LATER", I WONT LET GO, YOU
ARE ALWAYS IN MY HEART, AND I WONT GIVE UP, I WILL "KEEP ON KEEPIN ON" AS YOU USED TO SAY!!
I HOPE MY SON, THAT YOU HAVE FOUND PEACE!! FLY HIGH MY "FREE BIRD", ON ANGELS WINGS UNTIL I SEE YOU
AGAIN!
I LOVE YOU WITH ALL MY HEART FOREVER AND A DAY!!!!

MOM!!!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE WHO VISITED JP'S WEBSITE TO OFFER YOUR WORDS OF SUPPORT TODAY. YOU ARE
APPRECIATED MUCH MORE THAN YOU WILL EVER KNOW AND YOUR KINDESS WILL NOT BE FORGOTTEN! BLESS ALL WHO
ENTER HERE!

You never said "I'm leaving"
You never said goodbye
You were gone before I knew it,
And only God knew why


A million times I needed you,
A million times I cried
If Love alone could have saved you,
You never would have died


In Life I loved you dearly
In death I love you still
In my heart you hold a place,
That no one could ever fill


It broke my heart to lose you,
But you didn't go alone
For part of me went with you,
The day God took you home.



***********************************************************


We are given on this earth the chance to borrow an angel! These angels we are blessed with by God.
We raise them, love them, nurture them until God sees fit to call those angels home.

On February 07, 2006, God called home our beloved angel, Jeremy Paul Hulsey , just three short weeks
from his 26th birthday. Jeremy left behind his daughter, his mother, brother, sister, grandparents,
and many other loving family members who will feel the devastation of his death for the remainder of
our days!

I can only guess that He must have had greater plans for J.P. in heaven than He had for him here on
earth.

I was blessed to have had my angel in my life for 25 years. Rest in peace my son! Until again we
meet, you are forever in my heart!

I love you,

Mom

Grief is not
something that you get over,
it is something that you walk through.
My shoes are worn and my feet hurt from this walk...


A Child that loses a parent is an orphan,
A Man who loses his wife is a widower,
A Woman who loses her husband is a widow,
There is no name for a parent that loses a child,
for there is no word to describe the pain.



I have learned so much about life..and how truly fragile it can be. I lost my Jeremy February 7th of
2006 to suicide. I have since learned never to take one precious moment for granted, and to express
my feelings to those closest to me in my life. There were no final goodbyes shared, nor any last I
love yous between my son and I before I lost him. What I would give to have one more day to share
with him. I would certainly express to him how very proud of him that I am, and always will be, and
how honored I am to be called his mother!

He truly was a warm, loving, caring individual who struggled so deeply inside with his own
adversaries. For those of us who have not dealt with clinical depression, we will never know how
silently its victims suffer. For them its a life of agony and eventually defeat if left untreated,
as the depression takes over and they slowly begin to lose that human instinct to surive. All they
know is that ending their life also puts an end to the pain they endure on a daily basis.

There is help for depression, and its so easy to find, the hardest part is asking for it. To admit
that life has dealt you more than you can handle is not a sign of weakness, but an indication of the
will to live! Dont ever think that ending a life ends the pain. Indeed it may for the victim, but
the pain lives on in the lifes of those left behind. I know, I now live in my own silent torture.

Suicide is perhaps the hardest form of death to deal with. It leaves loved ones with questions that
there are no answers for. The constant guilt of what could I have done to have prevented this
outcome, and the pain that will certainly fill the void in the hearts of those left behind!
If you know someone who has hinted at ending their life..dont believe the idle statement..they have
talked about it so they will never act on it. Trust me, that is not so. Talking about suicide, they
are actually subconsciously reaching out for help. If those cries for help go ignored, most
assuredly, the end result will be tragic!

It is never too late to help someone, take the time to offer support or advice. You just never know
when someone in need, might be listening!


"THERE IS NO LOVE LIKE A MOTHER'S LOVE AND NO HEART MORE BROKEN THAN THAT OF A MOTHER WHO LOSES A
CHILD!"

"IF I CLOSE MY EYES AND LISTEN VERY CLOSELY, I CAN HEAR THE BEATING OF ANGEL'S WINGS AND I KNOW THAT
YOU ARE WITH ME!"


How deeply you suffered inside, yet in silence you suffered alone! No one knew, not even those of us
who loved you most! Your demons ate away at you, until at last you could take no more, you sought
solace by knocking at heaven's door! Too young to die, too tormented to stay, such confusion, in
silence, you made your choice, in silence, you went away. (Written by Jeremy's Mom on 10/31/06)




If there is anyone out there who visits this site who is suffering from depression and having
suicidal thoughts, please visit this website:

http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/help/default.aspx

If you are a parent who has suffered first hand with the loss of a child through suicide, I urge you
to join this site. Here you will find loving support from caring parents who have suffered the same
loss.

http://www.parentsofsuicide.com/parents.html

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)

THANK YOU TO EVERYONE WHO ENTERS THIS SITE TO PAY THEIR RESPECTS TO MY SON! YOUR OUTPOURING OF LOVE
AND SUPPORT IS SO GREATLY APPRECIATED!

Though he is gone, may he not be soon forgotten!